WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT DATING
The Forgotten Foundation
Millions have overlooked the most basic fact concerning male
female relationships! Our series continues with a revealing look
at why men and women were created in the first place.
By Larry R. Salyer
Let's face it: Everybody wants to be happy. Nobody wants to
be lonely. Ask the average single person what would make him or
her happy and you'll probably hear something like this: "I just
want to be loved. I want to build a relationship with someone
with whom I can share my life - someone who understands me."
A few will profess contentment with being unattached and
independent. Still others will loudly proclaim they have all they
ever wanted - a new sports car and a nice place to live.
How about you? What makes you tick? What do you really know
about yourself? Do you know what it would take to make you happy
- to make your life exciting, satisfying and full of joy?
Happiness in relationships
True happiness is not produced by material things. It is
bound up in the relationships we have with, first, God, and then
with other people.
Jesus Himself summarized God's entire perfect and holy law
in Matthew 22:37-40:
"Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the Lord you God with
all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.'
This is the first and great commandment. And the second is
like it: You shall love you neighbor as yourself. On these
two commandment hang all the Law and the Prophets.'"
The nature of the human mind is such that it demands a
relationship with other human minds. Dog may be "man's best
friend," but a person will be quite lonely if he or she goes
through life sharing thoughts, conversation, hopes and dreams
only with an animal.
The human mind is simply on a different plane. But most
people - the most brilliant scientific minds included - simply
over look or ignore this fact! Look at your life. Undoubtedly
your greatest joys have come from positive, successful
experiences with other humans - perhaps a parent, a brother or
sister or your all-time best friend.
But conversely, you can probably reflect back on your
deepest disappointment or moment of sadness and find that it also
involved a relationship with another person. Perhaps it was a
broken friendship, or the abrupt end of a budding romance. Maybe
it resulted from being called names at school, losing an athletic
contest or the embarrassment of showing up at a party in the
wrong kind of clothing.
The common denominator in all of these instances is that
we're all deeply concerned about what other people think of us,
as well as what we think of ourselves. That's simply the way the
human mind works.
Nowhere is this more evident than in our relationships with
people of the opposite sex. Somehow it seems so difficult to know
what is expected of us, to understand just what's going on in the
other person's head.
And lack of real understanding of relationships - the result
of rejecting the revelation of Almighty God - has left most of
mankind to human reasoning and experimentation, which in turn
have led to deeper misery!
Rather than humbly look to God and His Word, the basic
source of all true knowledge, which would require repentance and
obedience, many have taken the position that nothing is going to
work out anyway. After all, we live daily with the threat of
nuclear war. Why not live today as if there will be no tomorrow?
This philosophy leads to reckless abandon and thrill-seeking in a
sort of perverted attempt to make the best of a bad situation. It
can leave scars on the mind and body that may never heal! And it
often wastes the best years available to prepare for a happy
marriage and a stable future. What a tragedy!
This world is blinded
Satan the devil has cleverly blinded humans to our wonderful
potential to become members of the God Family. He doesn't want us
to enjoy the kind of personal, family love that would open our
eyes to God's marvellous plan. And so Satan has deliberately led
people away from truth and into philosophies that lead to
Among these is the idea that marriage is not necessary for
sex, and that the gratification of sexual lust is something we
owe ourselves. So we have developed sayings,like "Do your own
thing" and "Whatever turns you on."
Such a philosophy leads to the rejection of moral absolutes
and leaves each person as a law unto himself. But notice what
happens when man makes his own judgments on morality: "For this
reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women
exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise
also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in
their lust for one another, men with men committing what is
shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error
which was due" (Romans 1:26-27).
These words are even more timely in this society today than
when they were written.
Is there a way out? Are there any dependable, workable
principles that govern our human relationships? Can we know what
leads to successful courtship and marriage?
Laws in motion
Yes, there is a way to success. But if you will find it, you
must be willing to swim upstream. You must have the courage to
break out of the accepted routines of singles around you. You
must dare to be different!
Most of mankind is ignorant of the living laws that govern
human conduct and relationships. Regular readers of "The Good
News" know that this magazine carries a message of hope founded
on the truth of God as revealed in His Word.
Answers to all of man's seemingly insolvable problems are
contained in the Bible, but most people have refused to look for
those answers. And so people flounder in an ever more confusing
array of humanly devised ideas and philosophies, which offer no
Yes, human authorities justify their approval of wrong
marriage and sex practices by calling them "alternate
life-styles." But what does God say? Let's look into the Word of
God and find out.
The purpose of marriage
"So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He
created him; male and female He created them" (Genesis
This simple statement of fact is the cornerstone of a
understanding male-female relationships. Yet few indeed even
accept it as truth.
Notice that all of mankind was created in God's image. Not
just the male. Not just the female. But "male and female He
created them." So man and woman together reflected the image of
God. God actually made them to complement each other perfectly.
This is most obvious in the sexual union and in the means of
But the sexual compatibility of the bodies is only one
example of the many characteristics of male and female that are
designed to complement the opposite sex. When combined in
marriage, they create the perfectly balanced whole.
Reading further in the Genesis account, we find:
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and
shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh"
(Genesis 2:24, King James Bible).
They become one flesh in the sexual relationship, but again,
this is a picture of the complete and total union of the two
beings in body, mind, emotion and spirit.
Mankind was made in God's image. This statement is the
cornerstone of male-female relationships. Yet few accept it as
When a man and a woman commit themselves to each other in
marriage, they commit themselves to the mutual sharing of all of
life's experiences. They become one. The word cleave in this
verse means to "stick to" or "be welded to."
Two other scriptures should make it plain. In Amos 3:3 we
read, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" And
Proverbs 18:24 says, "There is a friend who sticks closer than a
brother." Clearly, God intended that a man and a woman leave
their parents and marry. Their new relationship is to supersede
even the attachment to their blood relatives.
And God provided that through the most intimate expression
of love for one another, in the sexual union, husband and wife
could produce a child with the blood of both in its veins.
Millions robbed of joy
Today's ideas about group marriage, communal living,
homosexual "marriage" and surrogate parenting cloud the meaning
and purpose of the God-ordained male and female roles and rob
untold millions of the profound joy of a godly marriage.
Such "modern" ideas actually go back to Sodom and Gomorrah and
are soundly condemned in both the Old and New Testaments of the
Bible (Leviticus 18:22, 1 Corinthians 6:9, Romans 1:26-27).
By contrast, we are given in Ephesians 5:22-33 a beautiful
picture of a marriage built on commitment, of love between a man
and a woman that elicits total participation by both parties.
This is the kind of human relationship that overwhelms
loneliness! It is a giving and sharing of the self with another
of like mind that reflects the attitude of Christ and the Church.
Such a marriage relationship can result only when it is built on
a right foundation. And that foundation starts with personal
understanding of the purpose for the creation of man and woman.
But those who will not read and accept the truth, as revealed in
God's inspired Word, cannot understand!
Look et your beliefs
What can you do? You can begin by taking an honest look at
your own concepts of love and marriage. You are a product of what
you have been taught by the society around you. Your beliefs and
moral values may have no basis in fact. They may be contrary to
the living laws your Creator set in motion.
If so, you need to consider the long-term results you may be
headed for, and choose between the reasonings of human minds and
the absolute truth of God.
In coming articles we will study the male and female roles,
the singles scene, courtship and romance and the meaning of real
Happiness is elusive in today's world. But you can be truly
happy - filled with the real joy that comes from a deep and
Let the Creator of love and marriage show you the way!
Entered on this Website September 2007